No Longer In Shadow
by FallingToDarkness
Summary: Post Captain America 2. Toni is your average 24 year old girl when one day the world all goes to hell, and she is thrown into a world she never wanted a part of and all because she took in a confused, lost and extremely handsome man off the street. Will Bucky cope with his past as The Winter Soldier? Or will the guilt over what he became consume him? Let's see shall we?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey all!_

_**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read. **#MatureContent**._

* * *

_Antonia "Toni" Hawthorne - Odette Annable _

* * *

It hadn't taken him long to grab a disguise after his fight on the helicarrier with the one they called Captain America. His head was still in pieces as he moved around the large shop. Everyone was in a panic and running around after the news of what had happened to the three helicarriers, no one noticed him grabbing a backpack and some clothes. Slipping into the changing room James Buchanan Barnes closed over the door and gingerly turned around in the cramped space to look at himself in the mirror.

His hair was falling into his eyes and he pushed it back with his hand. The cold metal scratching against his scalp. For the first time he could ever remember, he was alone. Totally free from his handlers. His training was telling him to regroup, return to base and recuperate the losses but another part of him, the part he felt when looking at that target on the helicarrier stopped him. That stranger. He spoke to him, refused to fight, to defend himself.

_I know him...he knew me...How? How did he know me? Who was he?_

He looked back at his reflection and his eyes darkened. His hair and face were a mess. His black armoured clothing torn. His daggers and gun gone. A soft pained look crossed his face as he raised his hand to touch his robotic arm and a question left his lips. The first sound to part from him since the fight.

"Who am I?" He whispered softly before his fist soared out and hit the mirror, shattering it at his feet.

"Hello?" a woman's voice came from the other side of the door, and a sharp knock. "Is someone in there? The store is closing, I'm going to have to ask you to come out, please?" The soft feminine voice started off filled with authority before slipping into more of a soft plea.

Toni fiddled with her shirt and bit her lip softly as she heard a muffled grunt coming from behind the door and a few moments later a man opened up the door and towered above her. She swallowed hard and blinked a little. He was wearing their clothes. She could see the pile of tags and security bars on the floor behind him. He had on a baseball cap, a large black hoody that was zipped all the way up and black jeans. It took her a moment to realise he also had one of their backpacks slung over his shoulder.

"Um, Sir? You do plan on paying for those clothes right?" She asked, her voice trying to sound stronger than it was coming off.

"No," the figure spoke before walking past her, he manoeuvred around her easily in the small corridor.

"Excuse me?" Toni reacted in a way she'd always been told not too. She reached out and grabbed the mans left arm, attempting to stop him. "That's -stealing-."

He actually stopped, turning around to face her slowly he looked from her to his arm. He'd tensed automatically on instinct, ready attack, ready to kill her if need be but...as he looked back up at her, her eyes caught him. Such innocence was held in them. She was no threat to him. She was unarmed. His eyes moved from hers downwards until he saw the small tag on her chest and he leaned in close to read it. To her credit she didn't clinch or move away, she did however let go of his arm.

"Antonia," he spoke her name softly, delicately before he stood back up tall once again. Toni suddenly realised just what kind of situation she'd gotten herself into. He was huge. His shoulders practically took up the entire breadth of the corridor and she had just blocked her own escape if he tried anything...-funny-.

"Look, Sir, I don't want any trouble, okay?" She took a step back and held up her hands, "I must have made a mistake, please?" She felt her heart begin to race as he looked her up and down slowly, a confused look on his face.

"I can't pay. I don't have money." He tilted his head as he looked at her, blinking a few times, "I'm sorry", he spoke before stepping back and making his way out of the changing room and out of the store quickly. People would be looking for him and he had no idea where to go now.

Toni just stood there as she watched him leave, letting out the breath she'd been holding in before she leaned back against the wall and ran a hand through her long dark curls. After a few moments she hurried out of the changing area and locked up the store, the theft wasn't a big deal in the grande scheme of things. She'd seen the news like everyone else. Things falling from the sky, secret government organisations actually being Nazi's or something like that. Frankly all she wanted to do now was get home and curl up in bed. 10 minutes later that's what she was driving on her way home to do.

Sipping her water as she stopped at a red light she suddenly caught sight of him. The man from the changing room. He was pacing back and forth in an alley across from her. He looked lost and confused. Toni knew what she should do. She should keep on driving and go home. He wasn't her problem. He could be crazy for all she knew and dangerous.

"Shit" she mumbled to herself as she pulled up to the alley entrance and wound down her window. "Hey! Um, guy from the changing room!?" She called out to him and he stopped pacing and looked up at her suddenly.

"Oh shit this was a bad idea..."she mumbled as he slowly moved towards her, thankfully he stopped a few paces from her car, "um, do you need help or something? You seem a bit..." Loopy was the word she wanted to say, "lost?"

He wasn't sure what to make of it. She was the girl from the store. The one who grabbed him. The one with those eyes...Was she following him now? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of anything now.

"I have no where to go" he said to her in all honesty, looking up and down the street as if he was afraid something was going to suddenly appear.

"Alright...well..." _Oh god, you're not seriously going to do this are you? _She asked herself mentally_, What if he's some psycho killer? Or a rapist? But what if he's just a guy who needs some help? Oh fuck..._

"Do you need a place to crash?" She asked, her mother had always told her she was too trusting with people, too kindhearted.

"Crash?" He looked back at her confused and rubbed his left arm.

"Do you want to come stay at my place tonight? Get you off the street, and figure out where you're going?"

He couldn't understand why she'd offer him a place to stay. She had nothing to gain from it. He had almost hurt her back in that store, she'd been afraid of him...Why would she offer him this?

"Why?" was all he said to her, his face hard and dark. She was regretting this offer already.

"Because...you look like you could use a friend and...I don't like to see people in need and do nothing" she told him, "and you can stay, just so long as you promise not to hurt me".

She'd always been like this. Bringing home stray dogs, taking care of injured animals, volunteering at shelters since she was 10 to feed the homeless. She was too naive, one day she knew it'd get her into serious trouble she just hoped it wasn't this time.

"Yes, I won't hurt you" he nodded once and stepped up to the car and walked around to the passengers side door. She quickly unlocked it so he could get in. He looked big in that corridor but crammed into her little car he was ginormous. He sat with the backpack on his lap and his face glancing down, concealed by the baseball cap.

"So...you know my name...what's yours?" She asked trying to fill the awkward silence that was beginning to build up in the journey to her flat.

He took a moment before he answered as if having to seriously think about his answer. She glanced at him once or twice before he finally spoke up.

"Bucky. My name is Bucky."

* * *

_Well hope you're enjoying it so far. **Please leave a comment** and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey all!_

_**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read. **#MatureContent**_.

* * *

Toni took a moment to glance at the tall, dark stranger standing behind her. He'd said his name was Bucky, she liked that name, she automatically trusted a man with that name. Her grandfather had known a Bucky once. Well James Buchanan Barnes was his full name. They'd been in the war together. Fighting side by side with Captain America. She'd loved those stories growing up. Loved when her grandfather took her to the large exhibit at the Smithsonian, and showed her around. He'd been the last living member of their squad. A true American hero. She smiled softly as she thought of the old bowler hat he'd left her before his death a few years ago.

"So, uh it's not much but..." She said softly as she unlocked the door to her apartment and opened it for him. It was a small place. Two bedrooms, a living room/kitchen and a bathroom. Nothing fancy. She'd tried to decorate it as best she could but money was always tight when it came to things that weren't really necessary. Plus she didn't exactly have a lot of friends so no one really ever came over.

Bucky walked inside slowly and glanced around finding the exits and making sure this wasn't some kind of a trick. It was nice, as far as he could tell. Better than the places Hydra had had him kept anyway. Anything was better than that cold, dark place.

Toni stepped in behind him and closed the door softly as she eyed him from behind. The backpack slung over his right shoulder. The logical part of her was telling her how stupid she was being. That normal people don't invite thieves or crazy people into their homes but as she moved around him she caught a glimpse of his face. The fear there wasn't something someone could fake.

"How about you sit and make yourself comfortable and I'll make us up something to eat? Okay Bucky?" she smiled softly to him and lightly went to place her hand on his arm but he quickly moved away from her touch. "O-Kay...well..." She cleared her throat slightly and dropped her handbag to the floor and hung up her jacket on the rack my the door. She expected him to do the same but he didn't. Instead he walked to the sofa and sat down, the backpack sitting on the floor at his feet, his back straight.

Dragging a hand through her hair she moved over to the kitchen counter, she could feel his eye on her but she ignored it as she got out the ingredients to make a chicken curry for them. He didn't exactly look like he'd been starving but he was scruffy. His hair was a mess under that baseball cap and it was as if he didn't want her to see his face.

"You know having a hat on indoors is rude" she said as a kind of half joke and suddenly he was pulling off the hat and stuffing it into the backpack. His eyes now averted from her, his face too as he scanned the room. "I hope you like chicken curry. If not I can make something else..."

"I've never eaten it." He spoke in almost a whisper and his face turned to her. Her eyes widening slightly at him. His face, it looked so familiar. He was handsome, in a scruffy needing a bath kind of way. His face was hard, as if he didn't want to let out any emotions in front of her. He had a large deep cut above his right eye that slowly dripped a line of blood down his face, not that he noticed.

"You're hurt" she spoke more to herself than him as she quickly grabbed the first aid box from the cupboard and moved over to sit beside him.

"I'm fine."

"Clearly you're not fine" she tutted at him and removed a sterilising wipe, "just hold still okay? This might hurt a little but I'm only going to clean the cut and put on a bandage. It'll help." She told him before she lightly dabbed at the deep cut. It must have hurt really badly but he didn't even flinch. Simply stared back at her as she worked to clean it and cover it up with a bandage and some sticky tape. "Now that wasn't so bad." She said with a smile, closing the first aid box and getting up to put it away and bin the rubbish.

Bucky wasn't really sure what to say to her. He'd had people treat his wounds before but none of them so gently and none because it was what was best for him. They'd only done it because he was their weapon and they wanted him to be maintained as such.

"Thank you" he said, raising a hand to touch the bandage. He wouldn't need it for long, he'd be healed by morning. Not that she knew that.

"You're welcome" Toni smiled back at him as she washed her hands and then got back to cooking. "So...who are you Bucky? What's with the stealing and not knowing where you're going? If you don't mind me asking?" She was always so nosy, always wanting to know peoples stories, where they come from, where they've been and he looked like he had an interesting story.

Once again he wasn't sure what to say. No one at Hydra ever asked him anything, he was always just given orders to follow. Not as if anyone ever made conversations with their loaded gun. Not as if he was even human like them. "I don't know. I don't really know who I am anymore. What I even am..."

Toni frowned softly, there was a lot going around lately in the news and on the internet about all these people suddenly appearing with powers, from other worlds..."You're not an alien are you?" she asked partly as a joke and partly because that Thor dude she'd seen on TV was super hot.

"An alien? No. I don't think so but..." Bucky faltered slightly and glanced to her as she stirred a large pot, he wanted to tell her. Wanted to have another human being know. To talk to. Slowly he started to remove his jacket, underneath he had on a black short sleeved shirt, twisting a little on the sofa and holding out his metallic arm to show her.

"Woah..." Toni's eyes widened as she saw his arm. He was...part machine? What's that like bionic? "Who did this to you?" she wanted to go over and have a proper look at his arm, in truth it looked super cool but she thought it might be a bit insensitive to seem so eager and childish.

"Their name is Hydra."

"Hydra!? Are you serious? The guys that are all over the news right now and from back in WW2?" She couldn't quite believe it, the stories of Hydra her grandfather had told her all came flooding back to her.

"Yes" was all he replied with. His eyes cast downwards at his robotic hand and he looked as if he was drawing patterns on it. He looked so sad, so lost.

"I'm going to help you" she nodded as she finished up the curry and put it on to simmer. Slowly moving around the counter to stand beside him. "I'm going to help you. Together I'm sure we can figure this out." She sat down beside him and nodded, "So, Hydra, they did that to you. So...where were you before they found you?"

His face turns to one of pain, confusion, frustration. Most of all he just looked sad and lost. "I don't know. I can't remember. I just...I was their weapon." He blinked a little and then looked up to her. "Those helicarriers, I was on one of them but...there was a man there. He knew me. I knew him but...I can't remember anything before." He clutched at his head and closed his eyes tightly.

Toni wasn't sure what to do, she wanted to comfort him but...he just told her he was a weapon for Hydra, that means he's dangerous. Very dangerous. Reaching out she placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.

"Hey, it's alright. I'm going to help you work this out Bucky. You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid." He mumbled softly and sat up straight, his face hard again. "I'm angry." He looked over at her darkly and she stood up suddenly, pulling back her hand. She went to check the curry.

"Well, how about you have something to eat and try and just...not think too hard about it right now, okay?" She nodded turning off the pot and spooning out two bowls of the chicken curry and placing it on the counter for them before getting a fork.

He got up slowly and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck, taking the fork she handed him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you I just...I don't have anyone" he admitted to her and picked up the bowl with his metal arm and began eating.

His eyes widening slightly at the rich spicy flavour. Something he'd never tasted before, a few moments later the bowl was empty and he was eyeing the rest in the pot. Toni smiled and spooned him out another bowl which he devoured in equal time.

* * *

_Well hope you're enjoying it so far. **Please leave a comment **and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey all!**

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read. **#MatureContent**.

* * *

After they'd finished eating Toni had begun to clean up and make a start on the dirty dishes. Bucky stood behind her awkwardly, almost like a statue as he watched her and she glancd back at him once or twice feeling slightly nervous about the fact he was just standing there. She'd just started scrubbing out the large curry pot when his voice suddenly came from behind her.

"Can I help?" He mumbled so softly she wasn't quite sure what he said to her. He'd been standing there watching her wondering what it was he should do since she was cleaning up after them. He didn't feel right letting her do it all on her own.

"What?" She asked, turning to look at him, bubbles halfway up her arms.

"Can I help?" He repeated to her a little louder this time, his hair falling into his eyes as he glanced down away from her. He didn't know why but he felt exposed to her. A funny feeling for him. He was never exposed. Not to anyone but this woman, she just saw him in a way people didn't. She wasn't a handler, a scientist or Hydra. She wasn't a target. She was just...a person. A kind one at that.

"Oh, uh..sure." Toni smiled softly and nodded to the dishcloth at the end of the counter, "you can dry up if you want? Just leave everything on the counter and I'll put it away once I've done these." She nodded and he stepped over, picking up the dishcloth he began drying up the dishes she'd just washed and placed on the drying board.

"So..." She began, sucking a breath in through her teeth loudly, "Bucky... Buckaroo... Bucky boy... The B-Man..." She rambled away and he glanced at her, eyebrow raised. "Sorry..." She mumbled and bit her lip in embarrassment. She was nervous, she hadn't had a guy doing dishes in her apartment before, let alone a rather scary half robot man who was a Hydra weapon.

They finished up the rest of the dishes in silence, once he was finished he folded up the cloth and layer it over the countertop. Stepping back Bucky watched her putting the dishes away. She was stretching up to put the pot on the high shelf when it slipped from her grip.

Toni flinched as she expected the pot to come slamming down on her head but it didn't. Opening her eyes she glanced up to see Bucky over her, his metal hand holding the handle of the pot inches from her face. She let out a breath as he slowly raised his arm up and placed the pot on the shelf effortlessly.

"Thank you, that would have hurt" she said to him, her fingers fidgeting with the front of her shirt.

"I wouldn't have let that happen" he nodded slowly and stepped back from her when he realised just how close he was to her. He wasn't exactly smelling of roses, not after the day he'd had. He'd woken up this morning a puppet for Hydra, and now...he wasn't sure what he was but what he did know was that he wasn't going to go back to them willingly.

"Can I have a hose down?" He asked her. He'd never had to ask before and it was never something he'd enjoyed but he wanted to be clean and rid of the day on his skin. The handlers had always done everything like clockwork with him. The injections, the hosing, the tests, the wiping of his memories, he didn't remember the last time he'd sat down and eaten like a normal human being.

"A hose down?" She raised a brow at him slightly confused and he practically winced realising how stupid he must sound to her.

"I'm not...I want to be...clean..." He said to her, his hands tight at his sides and his shoulders hunched over.

"Oh...Oh! Right, a shower, right of course. Come on." She waved to him to follow as she walked past him and headed for the bathroom. Grabbing a towel from the cupboard beside the heater she made her way inside. It wasn't anything amazing. She had a bathtub, shower, sink and toilet. A small shelf with the few essentials she needed and a mirror, nothing else.

Toni placed the towel down on the edge of the bath before reaching into the shower and working her magic on the shower. Jumping back quickly so she didn't get soaked as the water came gushing out. "There you go that should heat up in a second and then you can jump in, shampoo is on the shelf as well as some soap. I'll have a look for something else you can wear to sleep in." She said to him before going to move past him and he caught her arm lightly.

"I don't...I haven't..." He groaned slightly in frustration and she frowned at the realisation that he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

_My god. They couldn't have been..._

"Bucky, when you needed to get clean before, did they give you some privacy or...?" She wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. Clearly he was their prisoner but she didn't realise they'd been so...this was Hydra...of course they'd be like that and by the look on his face she hit the nail on the head. How long had he been their prisoner? Their weapon? To not have such a basic knowledge. She wasn't going to ask for the details, she wasn't sure she could stomach them. "Right, um, how about a bath instead? I'll show you how to do your hair and then next time you'll know how to do it yourself, okay?"

He nodded slowly before he let go of her arm and moved back, shrinking away from her. She quickly got to work switching off the shower and filling the bath, adding some purple gel to the water to make it a bubble bath so at least he'd be able to have some dignity and cover himself.

"Okay, I'll wait outside while you get undressed and into the bath okay? Call on me when you're in and I'll come in." She brushed her hair back and awkwardly making her way out of the door and closing it with a soft click.

Bucky stepped forwards and eyed the suds filled bowl. He'd never seen anything like it and yet it was inviting, a floral smell emitting from it. Stripping out of his clothes he neatly folded them and laid them on the floor before he placed a foot into the water. Pulling it back out in surprise. The water was warm. Very warm. Whenever he'd been hosed down it had always been freezing, almost unbearably cold. For the first time in a very long time, he smiled.

Toni stood outside the door listening to the sound of him undress and then the sloshing of the water as he got into the tub. She stood there for a few moments as the silence then drew on before his voice sounded out. "Antonia?" He called out for her, well not so much called. He didn't exactly raise his voice but he was asking for her.

"Yes? Can I come inside?" She asked him, leaning against the door. She wanted to give him the option of saying no, clearly something he hadn't been offered in god knows how long.

"Yes" she heard him say through the door so she opened it up and stepped inside. She stopped momentarily as she caught sight of a smile on his face when he turned to her. "It's warm" he said, as if shocked by that.

"I can put some more cold in if that's better" she moved to turn on the cold tap and he reached out for her so suddenly that he spilled water over the floor.

"No, it's good. Warm is good. I like it warm" he nodded and leaned back again to sit upright in the bath. It couldn't possibly be comfortable him always sitting like that.

With a smile she sunk down a little on the floor beside him. "Why don't you lay back, lean against the edge and relax?" As she spoke he did what she suggested. If he looked uncomfortable before he must be really uncomfortable now. Clearly he's not used to relaxing. "Don't be so tense. It's just you and me, nothing bad is gonna happen." She told him and she could see him trying to loosen up. His muscles relaxing and tensing. Relaxing and tensing. Damn he has some great muscles on him..

Toni couldn't help that she was staring, he was a hell of a man with clothes on but without, well he had a hell of a body. Although her eyes couldn't help coming back to the connection between his body and his arm. He was so badly scarred there. Like someone had to melt his flesh to connect it to the arm. It must have been so painful. Agonising.

"Can you feel it?" She found herself asking him. Bucky looked over at her in confusion. "I mean, your arm. Does it feel like a real arm? If I touched you could you feel it?" She couldn't help asking, she was curious.

"Yes. I can feel it" he said softly, looking over at his arm. A sad expression creasing his face. His eyes looked tired as if he hadn't slept for years. Bucky leaned up slowly and moved his arm over to the other edge of the tub for her to see. He didn't mind it. Talking to her about it. Her questions. He found himself trusting her. This normal woman who took him in off the street. This brave, kindhearted woman.

Leaning up a little she kneeled beside the bath and eyed his arm, reaching out tentatively she brushed her fingers lightly across the cold metal of his forearm. "It's cold, for some reason I didn't expect it to be cold."

Bucky could feel the tingling sensation of her fingers moving up his arm. Her fingers grazed against the crease of the inside of his elbow and he pulled back suddenly as it tickled. A soft smile curving on his lips. "Ticklish apparently" he explain with a shrug. She smiled back at him and nodded.

"Well, how about we get that hair of yours done and then I'll give you some privacy to have a proper clean" she said as she moved over behind him and picked up a jug. He moved forward a little and rolled his shoulders back and forth a little in anticipation. He'd never had a good experience with being cleaned. The hosings had been all he was allowed. Sometimes they'd cut his hair or give him a scrub but it wasn't exactly enjoyable. So when she slowly filled the jug with water and lightly began pouring it over his head it was a surprise, but even more of a surprise was when she began massaging the shampoo into his hair.

Her fingers where like magic as she ran through his hair, massaging at his scalp and her thumbs down the back of his neck. He could actually feel his body physically relax as she worked at his hair. It felt amazing to have someone be so gentle with him, so caring.

Toni was me enjoying herself washing his hair, it was thick and a little tangled but she worked them out easily enough as she massaged. She was about to rinse out his hair when he moaned softly. The sound making them both freeze and Bucky to tense up. She wasn't sure why he went from so relaxed to so tense because of that but she wasn't about to ask. Instead she unhooked the shower head and flicked it on, setting the temperature to warm and began rinsing the bubbles out of his hair.

Bucky sat in silence as she continued on. His reaction to her washing out his hair in such a way had been a surprise to him. He'd never felt so...he wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was aroused. Extremely so. The tip of his cock bobbed lightly above the surface of the bubbly water and he moved his arm over his lap to hide it from her incase she caught sight.

Hydra had been cruel to him in many ways but they'd been extra cruel when it came to keeping him in line, physically, mentally, sexually. A soldier doesn't have personal desires. He remembered being told a number of times before they wiped him clean. His only focus was ever on his missions and when they were over he was locked back in his cryo-tube.

"Okay, that's your hair done. I'll let you relax and finish your bath. The towel is on the railing for when you're finished okay?" She turned the shower off and hung the head back up before patting him on the shoulder awkwardly and getting up, her eyes averted as she made her way to the door, the bubbled had begun to dissipate in the water.

"Thank you" Bucky spoke and glanced over at her. Her arms were wet, she had splash marks on her shirt and her cheeks were a light pink. She nodded once to him, her eyes trained on the floor before she made her way out and closed the door behind herself.

Letting out a breath Bucky leaned back once again and laid his arms out along the edge of the bath. Looking down he tilted his head and just watched his cock bob for a few moments. A sexual release wasn't something he'd really spent anytime thinking about. Not that he'd ever had much time to think about anything other than the mission he'd been assigned.

Reaching down with his own hand he lightly took a hold of himself below the surface of the water. A tingling sensation coursed up through him and down to his toes. Groaning softly he closed his eyes and tentatively explored himself. His fingers stroking ever so lightly against the underside of his cock and down to his balls which he massaged gently.

The memory of Antonia's hands in his hair helping him relax once again. The knowledge that he was now free to do whatever -he- wanted with his life was just as good. An image suddenly flashed through his mind.

A blonde haired woman with green eyes staring at him, sending a frightening chill right through him and he let go of himself quickly. All the desire and thoughts of before being ripped away by the face of that woman. A feeling of dreads seizing him and he began breathing heavily to try and calm it.

_Who was she? That woman and why did she make him feel so terrified?"_

His erection lost due to that sudden flash of memory and fear, he managed to calm himself enough to finish his wash, pushing the woman's face from his mind as best he could. Those kind of feelings weren't something he wanted and he was sure that she was someone he didn't want to remember.

* * *

Well hope you're enjoying it so far. **Please leave a comment** and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey all!_

_**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read.** #MatureContent**._

* * *

Laying back on the soft bed, running a hand through his hair Bucky couldn't quite believe the reality of the day. He was free. He could do anything, be anything, for himself. Toni had went out for a while after his bath, giving him a little time to himself to look around. He'd wandered around the apartment in his jeans, getting his bearing before stopping at the bookshelf. She had a lot of books. Classical books. He'd taken one off the shelf and that's what he was reading now as he lay across the bed in the spare room.

_Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain_

He was onto chapter 3 when he heard the front door open and then Antonia's voice filling the house.

"Bucky?" she called out to him softly, "I got you some stuff." Toni said as she placed the bags of clothes onto the table and began taking them out. She'd guessed his sizes, she'd been working in a clothes shop long enough to be good at that kind of thing.

Bucky stood in the hall doorway watching her taking out the clothes. She turned suddenly and jumped when she caught sight of him. Clutching her chest she laughed. "God, seriously we need to teach you how to make some noise when you move around. Maybe get you a bell or something." She said playfully, a smile playing on her lips as he made his way across the room to her.

Toni did her best to keep her eyes on his face but damn it was hard when he was just standing there in those low cut jeans. All muscle and smooth lines. Her eyes slowly dropped to the deep V lines that fell into his jeans as he walked over to her. Clearing her throat hoping it wasn't so obvious.

"These are for me?" He spoke quietly, his hand reaching out to lightly brush the fabric of the shirts she'd laid out. T-shirts, button downed shirts, jeans, sweats, boxers, socks and a leather jacket. "Why would you do this for me? You don't even know me..."

"We've been over this. I'm going to help you Bucky, and besides we can't have you wearing the same clothes day in and day out. It's unhygienic and it's not like you can walk around naked." Unfortunately. She thought to herself. The thought of him wandering around her apartment in his birthday suit was more than appealing.

"So, I didn't know what you liked so I covered all the basics, oh I also got you so bathroom stuff" she said opening up her handbag and pulling out a new toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and some shaving stuff. Bucky reached up and scratched his stumbled jaw.

"Thank you Antonia. I don't...no ones...you're a very kindhearted person" he said, his face down away from her trying not to show just how much something so small as buying him these things meant to him.

"Call me Toni, everyone does and don't worry about it." In truth she'd inherited enough money from her grandfather to buy them both designer gear for every day of the week and more, but it wasn't something she bragged about. She liked to earn her own money, pay her own way. She only ever dipped into those kind of savings for when she really needed too.

Bucky nodded before they both began picking up the clothes and carrying them into the spare room and Toni began moving them into drawers. He glanced over to her, she'd changed her clothes. She was now wearing little grey shorts and a black t-shirt that clung to her curves. She looked good. Bucky tilted his head as she bent over to put some clothes in the bottom drawer.

Toni glanced over her shoulder at him, about to ask him if he wanted her to leave anything out and caught him staring at her rear. "Are you checking out my ass?" She gasped in mock shock. He averted his eyes and turned away quickly, looking through the bathroom things she'd bought. His hair falling into his eyes.

"No..." He shrugged a shoulder and turned back to her. "I just, yeah. I was." He nodded his head admitting it to her. "It's a very nice ass" he grinned a little at her before glancing down and concealing his face again.

She was surprised. Both at him admitting to checking her out and to that smile. God, she'd never seen anything like it. For a moment there she got a glimpse of him. The real him. The playful man underneath the hard, cold exterior. She found herself blushing and yet smiling at him. "Well, you're right, it is a nice ass," she bit her bottom lip and let her eyes run over him rather obviously, "And you could use those abs of yours as a washboard by the way."

Looking down at himself Bucky couldn't help how his lips twitched upwards and he ran his hand up over his hard abs. "Yeah I suppose you could, maybe we could try that sometime" he chuckled softly before realising exactly what he'd just said to her. His eyes widening slightly in surprise at himself and he wasn't the only one. Toni was looking at him completely gobsmacked, a smile on her lips.

"I'll hold you to that Buck" she laughed and brushed a stray strand of her long dark hair behind her ear. "So, it's getting late. I'll let you get to bed. Hope you sleep okay." She sucked a breath in through her teeth as she moved past him, purposefully avoiding looking at him. "Well, goodnight Bucky."

"Goodnight Toni" he said to her and glanced around the room as she closed over the door and he listened to her heading down the corridor, switching off lights and then closing the door to her room. He swallowed hard and padded his way over to the bed and sat down, running his hand up his metal arm slowly he sighed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in an actual bed.

* * *

_Bucky stepped forwards, knife in hand as he stalker the man through the darkened streets. He'd been following him for a while, his mission was to get up close and personal for this kill. To make it hurt. He knew how to make it hurt._

_Slowly he made his way up behind the man, catching him by the neck and throwing him into a side alley hard. Watching the mans skull hit the alley wall. Blood smearing over it. The man barely registered what was happening to him before Bucky was on him. His metal arm crushing the mans windpipe as he shoved his knife into the mans stomach. He'd missed any arteries and organs that could kill him but he knew from experience just how bad that hurt._

_"Please! Please I did what they asked!" The man begged and pleaded with each breath he managed to capture but Bucky didn't hear it. This man was his mission, and he would die tonight. "Please! My daughter, please tell me they let her go. I don't care about myself so long as she's safe." Now that caused him to pause for a moment, but only for a moment before he slammed his foot down onto the mans arm and snapped it in two. He didn't know anything about a girl. It wasn't his concern._

_Raising the man up he held him against the wall and slowly sunk his knife into the mans neck. Blood dripping out of his mouth as this man gurgled and tried to breath. Leaning in close to the man he finally spoke. The thing he'd been told specifically to say as he watched the man die. "Hail Hydra" he whispered through his mask and watched the mans eyes widen in horror before they went dark. The light leaving them and he slumped to the ground._

* * *

Screaming. That's what woke her. Gut wrenching screams and for a moment she couldn't understand what was going on but then it hit her. "Bucky..." She gasped as she ran from her room to his. Toni flung open the door and saw him, covered in sweat he was thrashing around the bed. Screams of agony erupting from him. "Bucky?!" She called as she turned on the light and rushed to him.

Gripping his shoulders she tried to wake him from whatever nightmare had a hold of him. In her haste she'd forgotten exactly how dangerous this could get for her.

Bucky's eyes opened, filled with panic and still half in his dream he reacted on instinct. Someone was on top of him. Attacking him. Gripping their neck he twisted them both over and held them down hard, his fingers sinking into their throat as he raised his other arm to punch them.

"Bucky, no!" Toni gasped out, tears filling her eyes as she tried to breath. His eyes were dark, as if there was nothing behind them. He didn't recognise her.

Bucky stared down at this girl under him. Her dark waves spread out across the pillow and it all came back to him in a rush. Hitting him like a ton of bricks. His fingers on her throat loosening and she coughed. "Toni..." He let out a breath and his eyes widened at what he'd done, what he'd been about to do to her.

As he let go Toni scrambled away from him, falling off the bed and onto the hard wood floor. Coughing and spluttering she gripped her throat and tried to breath but it was hard. Her eyes glossed over with tears of panic and fear.

"No...I didn't mean..." Bucky reached out to her and then pulled his arm back as she recoiled from him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He spoke as she got to her feet and ran from the room, he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks and it felt like a physical wound in his chest. He never meant to hurt her.

Sitting back and pulled his knees up to his chest and held his head in his hands. He could have killed her, easily. She'd been trying to help him and he'd done that to her. Rubbing at his face he got up from the bed, his sweats and torso covered in sweat but he didn't care. All he cared about was finding her and making sure she was alright.

Toni sat in the bathtub, her body huddled up as she wept into her arms. She'd never felt so scared before, so powerless. Her heart was racing and she couldn't stop the tears. She knew he hadn't meant it. She knew it must've been frightening for him but she also knew just how badly that could have ended for her. A soft knock came from the door and she glanced up at him.

"Antonia..." His voice whispered through the door and she sucked in a whimper, "I'm going to come in." She heard him say before the lock on the door flicked off and he stepped inside.

"You know a locked door usually means don't come in" she said gruffly, her throat sore. He looked terrible, and ashamed. He caught sight of her and looked away, he'd hurt her and it disgusted him. He didn't want to be like that. A monster with no control. He'd lived like that for too long.

Slowly he padded over to the bath and sank down onto the floor. She tensed up and he couldn't blame her, no one saw the darkness he held and lived to talk about it. He had no idea how much horror she'd seen in him then. Looking up he saw the redness across her neck, it'd bruise. Badly.

"I'll leave, I just wanted to make sure I hadn't hurt you too badly. I broke your promise." He frowned, a pained look on his face before he reached out and stroked his thumb down her neck softly. Tentatively. "I'm so sorry" he mumbled before moving back and getting up. "Thank you, for what you did for me." He nodded slowly and stepped away, turning around he headed out of the bathroom and back to the spare room to dress.

He was half dressed in jeans and just pulling on a t-shirt when she appeared at his door. "You don't have to go" she whispered, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. He looked over to her, her eyes red and puffy, nose running slightly.

"Yes I do. I could have killed you Antonia. I almost did" he turned away from her and dragged his fingers through his hair. "I'm putting you in danger just by being here. I can't control myself."

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have-"

"No, don't. It was -not- your fault" he looked back at her, his face dark. "I'm not a good person Antonia, I've killed countless people in many different ways. Never questioned it. I shouldn't be here. You're too good to be infected with my...my horrors." He turned away from her.

"I think you'll find I can speak for myself and the things you did were not your fault. You were being controlled by Hydra. And as for waking you up from a nightmare well...next time I'll just poke you with a big stick from out in the hall" she nodded and sniffled. He could actually picture her doing that. "Stay, seriously I'm fine. I'll be fine" she said as she moved up behind him, she saw him tense but it didn't stop her. She reached out and ran her hand up his arm. "You don't have to go anywhere."

Bucky turned and looked down at her, she was far too good. Far too kind. One day it'd get her killed. Kindness does that kind of thing. In that moment he made a promise to himself, no one would hurt her. He wouldn't lay a hand on her again in such a way, if he did he'd cut it off. Something about her just, she needed protecting. "Alright, if you're sure" he spoke, raising a hand to cup her cheek and she smiled softly, leaning into his palm.

"Yes I'm sure. Come on, it's 4 am, I'll make us some hot chocolate" she let out a soft breath and cleared her throat, "and if you want to talk through your nightmare, I'm here to listen."

* * *

_(Sorry been a bit sick, well extremely sick lately but I wanted to post, I've got this whole big idea going on for this Fic and I really wanna just get into it. It's gonna get really intense, anyway love you all. Let me know what you think so far. **Seriously I LOVE reading your reviews**) Well hope you're enjoying it so far. **Please leave a commen**t and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hey all!_**

_**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read.** #MatureContent**._

* * *

**_Chapter 5_**

The next few days were spent getting to know one another a little better. Toni made sure not to react too quickly around him. He had a thing about her walking behind him, him not being able to see her, he always tensed up and if she moved to touch him he'd do the same as if he was expecting her to hit him. Part of her thought it was strange, this man, so strong and powerful, so dangerous. She couldn't imagine anyone hitting him and getting away with it but he'd been a Hydra experiment. They'd done much more than just hit him.

The nightmares continued on, he barely slept more than 3 hours before they had a hold of him. Her first night after he'd attacked her in his sleep had been the toughest. She'd wanted to do all the same things again. Run to him, hold him, comfort him but she didn't. He'd made her promise not to come near him again like this. When he wasn't in control. That was what he was most afraid of. Losing control of himself. She could see it in his eyes each night he awoke. So instead she stood by the hallway door each night and she'd tried talking to him, reading sometimes but what she found worked best to calm him down was actually humming. Sometimes she'd sing but mostly it would just be humming.

After a week or so Bucky finally opened up and decided to confide in her about his nightmare, about how he had been frozen and wiped each time his missions were done. About the man on the carrier, Captain America. The things he had said to him. That they'd been friends. How he felt he knew him. She'd been surprised at that. Then she'd went rummaging around in a cupboard for an hour before coming back with a large box filled with photos and letters. Newspaper clippings. They'd sat down and she'd told him of her grandfather. Timothy "Dum Dum" Dugan. Showing him photos of him, she sat taking out photos, an old bowler hat on her head. A childlike smile on her lips. Her yes filled with wonder.

Reaching out Bucky took the hat off her head and turned it over in his hands. Looking to the photograph of her grandfather he frowned in confusion. The mans face, it was so familiar. Then she took out another photograph.

"This is crazy..." She shook her head and handed him the photograph before she got up to her feet, "You're THAT Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes." He looked down at the photograph. It was him, him and the man from the carrier. "How did I not see this?"

"What's his name?" he asked her, his brain not quite understanding it all. "How do you have this?" He looked up at her, confused and frustrated.

"His name is Steve Rogers, you and he were best friends but..." She let out an exasperated gasp, "That would mean you'd have to be like 90 odd years old. I get they froze you but...damn..." He still didn't look as if he got it. "My grandfather fought with you guys. The Howling Commandos. You all fought against Hydra together. He spoke about you and Captain Rogers all the time. I can't believe I've been talking to you for days and it's only just clicked."

"Steve..." He said the name rubbing his forehead. "So I do know him. I was someone, before -them-."

"You -are- someone," she smiled to him and sat back down on the sofa beside him, "You're Sergeant James Barnes. There is a whole section on you at the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian. I was told stories about you growing up, you and Steve. You were my heroes."

"I'm not a hero. Not even close." He sighed getting up and walking to the window. His eyes never leaving the photograph in his hands. It was him. There was no denying it. He had a past, before Hydra. Before becoming a monster.

"Can we go?" he asked tentatively, for some reason he felt as if the world was tilting, everything falling out from under him. He was afraid that at any moment he would wake up back in that Hydra facility having been reawakened from cryo sleep.

"Go? To the Smithsonian? Yeah sure." She nodded her head with a smile. It wasn't like she had anything better to do now anyway. She'd been fired from her job a few days before but it didn't really matter. Not with everything going on in the world right now and besides, with her qualifications she could get just about any job. Not that she was going to tell him any of that. It wasn't something she broadcasted and all things considered she didn't think he'd want to know she majored in Advanced BioMechanics. She'd been offered a job working at Stark Industries at the age of 21 fresh from University but she just...didn't have the drive after her grandfather died. Instead she bumbed about, going from job to job. Even doing a little freelance work here and there for Stark contracts.

"Why don't we go just now, you haven't been out of the house since you came here. I'll take you to this little pizza place I know" she moved behind him slowly, and then turning at his side so he could see her. She still had the remnants of bruises on her neck from the week before. Bucky felt a pang of guilt stab through him as he reached out and brushed his fingers against her neck lightly. She never flinched away from him, not once. Whenever he moved to touch her she let him. Not that he touched her very often, part of him was always worried he'd hurt her accidentally. He didn't want to take the chance. He'd been thinking about touching her hair for a while. He wanted to know if it was as soft as it looked.

Stepping back he let his hand drop from her and he looked away. "I'd like that, thank you." Toni blushed a little, she always got tingly whenever he'd touch her like that. She knew it wasn't like that for him, he was just wanting to make sure she was healing okay but still, it was nice of him to care.

"Okay well, how about when we are out we take you for a haircut? Give you a little more control over what you look like, maybe it'll help you feel more like your old self?" She suggested as she moved around the living area, cleaning away the books he'd been reading and looking for her bag.

"A haircut?" He repeated, watching her move around the room. His hand moving up and running through his long hair, he'd shaved, cleaned himself up a bit but the hair...it wasn't something he'd thought about. "Do you not like it?" He asked suddenly, unsure of himself, of what he even thought of himself. His physical appearance hadn't been a priority. Everything had been for mechanical reasons. It wasn't to look good, it was to be efficient.

Toni stopped for a moment and thought about his question before looking back at him. He had his hand on his metal shoulder, rubbing at the red star with his middle finger. She'd noticed he did it when he was uncomfortable, or confused. "I didn't say that. I just thought you might like to make a decision for yourself. Something -you- want. For you. Not for anyone else or for...efficiency but just because." She walked over to him and smiled, raising her hand up slowly so he knew what she was doing, she brushed her fingers through his hair. This time he didn't flinch away from her. Instead his eyes closed and she could see him visibly relax.

After a moment she let her hand drop and moved to step away but he caught her wrist and she gasped in surprise. He wasn't holding her tightly, in fact he was barely holding her at all. "I'm sorry" he mumbled opening his eyes and pulling his hand back, "I just..." He wasn't sure what words to use. He didn't want her to move away, didn't want her to stop.

"I get it Bucky, I'm not going to hurt you"

"I know I just..." Taking a deep breath he stepped forwards and moved his hand up into her hair, his fingers slipping through her dark curls and it was just as soft as he'd imagined, "I've been thinking about touching your hair for 3 days now." He smiled to her, that playful smile she saw emerging a little further every day.

"Oh really?" She felt her cheeks pinken and she cast her eyes down, rather embarrassed, "Well, you can touch my hair whenever you like, Buck." She licked her lips and smiled up at him softly. "So, about -your- hair. What do you think?"

Bucky was too busy running his fingers through her hair to really pay much attention to anything else. "Huh? Oh" he let his wrist rest on her shoulder as his fingers continued to move in her hair, "I want it cut. Like in that photograph. Maybe you're right, maybe seeing myself as him will make me remember him."

"You." She corrected him, "help you remember you. You're the same person you just don't remember that part very well, it'll come back and I think you'd look good with short hair too."

* * *

The day didn't exactly go how they'd planned however. The moment Bucky got out into the real world he had so many questions about different things. The cars. The buildings. Her phone. People. Places. Foods. Music. Ever little thing he saw he wanted to explore and god he was cute. Such wonder in his eyes as she showed him around the city. It was clear they weren't going to make it to the Smithsonian today but Bucky insisted on that haircut she'd been talking about.

They'd been walking around all day and everything seemed so surreal to him. Yes he'd seen most of these things before when he'd been assigned on missions but he'd never interacted with the world like this before. Never been able to stop and marvel at things he found interesting. He'd never seen it. His focus souly on his mission at hand. The world was amazing.

He sat in the small chair at the hairdressers, it was a little too cramped for him but he made do. So long as he could see Toni in the mirror sitting behind him with her smile he felt alright. Looking back at his reflection he frowned. He wanted to be that man. James Barnes. He wanted to remember but he also didn't. Because if it was true. If he was him, then that meant he'd beaten his best friend to within an inch of his life. That he'd hurt someone he cared so deeply for that even in his brainwashed mind he knew it was wrong.

"So my lad, young Toni tells me you're looking for a new look. The grunge thing not really working out for you?" An older man appeared behind him and smiled, his glasses sitting low on his nose.

"Grunge thing?" Bucky repeated, wondering what that meant but then he heard Toni laugh behind him and clear her throat. "Yes, I want it cut. Short but...not too short."

"Ah you want a stylish cut, they're all the rage right now. You boys and your flash hair, styling and what not. Back in my day you got a buzz cut. All off and you made do with that" the man spoke before he started working his way through Bucky's hair. Toni had told him to take it slow. That Bucky was...just back from Afghanistan and had a little PTSD. It wasn't exactly a lie, let's be honest Bucky had bad Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, who could blame him after what he'd been through.

She found it funny though, old Frank cutting his hair. Talking about Bucky like he was just some punk kid and not a 95 year old man. Weird.

Bucky wasn't exactly paying much attention to the man cutting his hair. Instead he was watching Toni as she flipped through a magazine and sipped her tea. She stuck her pinky finger out when she raised the cup to her lips, he found himself smiling at that. Small little gestures she made. She'd held his arm as they'd walked around earlier, leaned into him and talked as they'd walked the busy streets. He'd enjoyed the feel of her there, holding his arm. The smell of her hair as she'd leaned in close.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a cough. "That's you young man, what do you think?" Bucky's eyes moved from Toni in the mirror to himself. Or...what he thought should be himself but instead staring back at him was the man from the photograph. Swallowing hard he blinked at himself and raised a hand to run his fingers through his hair, making sure it really was him.

Toni glanced up as she heard their exchange, her eyes widening when she caught sight of him. Holy crap. He was...well wow. "Wow..." She mumbled to herself and Bucky's eyes locked with hers in the mirror. They looked unsure. Getting up she walked over and smiled to him, her hand moving to sit lightly on his shoulder. "What do you think?" She asked softly, resisting the urge to run her fingers through his hair. It was short at the sides but longer on top. Enough for him to play with if he wanted to do something different.

He nodded slowly and tilted his head. "It looks good" was all he said. Clearing his throat he got up and brushed himself off. He was one step closer to being Bucky Barnes and one step further from being a Hydra weapon. Toni frowned softly and rubbed her neck, he'd closed up. She could see it in how he moved. She thought this would help him, but maybe she'd been wrong. Sighing softly she thanked Frank and went to pay him for the cut.

"No charge for you, young one. Your grandfather was a good client of mine. You know I won't take your money" he patted her hand and kissed her on the cheek softly before he picked up his brush and began sweeping up the floor.

"Thanks Frank" she smiled giving his arm a squeeze before turning back to Bucky who was looking at her curiously, a frown creasing his brow. "What's wrong?" She asked as they got outside, "You don't like it do you? It was too much too soon. The haircut. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"No it's not that. I do like it. It's a good change...do you like it?" He asked, absentmindedly running his hand through his new hair cut. It felt strange. He'd had longer hair for so long. It hadn't been practical now he thought about it. He could see it'd been their way of hiding who he really was. Altering him.

"Yes I like it. You look younger, less...scary. More like a puppy with those big eyes of yours" she said being honest, she wasn't sure how he'd feel about being compared to a puppy but hey he was freaking adorable looking at her like that. Unsure of himself. He needed a confidence boost. "You'll have the girls lining up in no time" she joked half heartedly but already she could see the looks he was getting from women on the street. He really was stunning.

"Lining up?" He raised a brow and held his arm out to her which she took and they headed off down the street together. "I doubt that, I'm too damaged."

"Shut up. You're not too damaged. You just need caring for, nothing a little time, patience and love can't help" she nodded her head. "And I don't want to hear you say any different, understand? Now, let's go get some pizza."

* * *

_Well hope you're enjoying it so far. **Please leave a comment I love hearing from you guys,** and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey all!**_

_**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read.** #MatureContent**_.

* * *

_All he heard was squelching as his fists hit muscle and bone. He'd been working on this subject for around an hour now. They were holding up rather well considering he'd shot out their kneecap and broken each finger on their left hand. The man hung from a hook that Bucky had positioned under his collar, an inch to the left and he'd have bled out but Bucky was very good at keeping the prisoners alive._

_"Please, I don't have what you want!" the man pleaded, his face bloody and battered. Bucky stopped for a moment to look at him before he walked over to the wall and flicked off the lock that held the chain the man was hooked too. He screamed out in pain as he went falling to the floor. "Please...please...I don't have it. I don't have it..." He spoke as he tried to crawl away but he wasn't fast enough._

_Taking out his knife Bucky twisted it around his fingers as he approached. Perhaps losing a hand would loosen his tongue, he thought as he stepped closer._

_"Stop" a voice sounded out behind him, a voice he knew too well. Freezing on the spot he stood up straight and turned to the man that approached him. "That's a good dog" the man smirked at him before slapping him on the cheek hard, clenching his jaw Bucky kept his eyes on the bleeding man on the floor. "You see what a good attack dog we have. So well trained, we should probably thank you for that Doctor. It was your little machine that helped us mould him into such a fine weapon."_

_"Davern, you can't do this. Hydra can't do this, I've been useful. I upheld my end of the bargain. I don't have anything else!"_

_"Exactly Doctor, that's why you're of no further use to us" Davern smirked darkly and turned his back on them both, "kill him and...make it slow."_

_"No...no please! Davern! No you can't!" He begged and pleaded but it was all ignored as Bucky held him down and took him apart piece by piece. Blood coating his hands, the floor, everything._

_It was everywhere. Red, hot, sticky blood. He was choking on it._

* * *

Bucky awoke with a jolt, twisting he threw himself off the bed and into the wall of the far corner. His breathing hard and ragged, arm outstretched to protect himself. His mind reeling, wondering where he was, what was happening. Suddenly the light flicked on and he blinked and winced at the sudden change.

"Bucky?" Toni spoke softly from the doorway as she pulled on her dressing gown, "It's okay, you're okay. It was just a dream." She reminded him as she slowly moved into the room and sunk down onto the floor by the door across from him.

Bucky just shook his head and pressed his palms into his forehead. "No...no it wasn't a dream. It was real, they're always real. Always me. Things I did. People I killed." She took a deep breath and got up from the floor, steadying himself. Toni stayed on the floor as he moved past her and out of the room. She couldn't imagine what he was going through. How this was for him. Being used as a weapon, having no say over his actions.

Sighing softly she got up and slowly made her way after him. She found him standing in the kitchen, his face blank as he stared at the knife set on the counter. The look on his face was unnerving, she'd seen him with many different emotions but she'd never seen that blank stare on his face. "Bucky?" she said his name softly but it was as if he didn't hear her. He reached out and took one of the smaller knives out of the set and began moving it around his hand, flipping it, rolling it. It would look kind of beautiful if she wasn't slightly worried about him hurting himself.

"Bucky? Put the knife away," she spoke as she approached him slowly, her hands raised to show she wasn't a threat. Bucky's eyes moved up from the knife and to her instead.

"I can remember what it felt like" he spoke, his face morphing from frustration to anger, "I can smell the blood, taste it. I can hear their screaming Toni. So much screaming and begging." He dropped the knife onto the counter top and clutched at his head. "I wish I didn't remember. I don't want these memories."

She stepped closer, her hands reaching out to lay on his shoulders but he caught her wrists. "Don't. I'll hurt you. It's all I am." He shook his head and stepped away from her, his hands running through his hair.

"No, I don't think you will" she stepped back against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him. Bucky froze against her, utterly terrified that if he moved he'd hurt her someway. After a moment of silence between them he raised his arms and wrapped them around her waist carefully, sinking his face into her hair he let out a long breath. She smelled sweet, like flowers on a rainy day. Slowly he sunk down into her embrace, his shoulders hunching over and he clung to her. She grounded him in that moment. Made it all slip away from him. Made him feel like a man and not a thing to be used. Not something that had killed countless people, but a man again.

Clearing his throat he pulled back from her and let his hands drop to his sides as he nodded. "I got so lucky when I walked into that shop" he said with a small smile, his hand raising up to cup her cheek. "I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you Toni. You just seem to have this way about you." He glanced to the counter to the knife there and slowly put it back into its place. "I didn't mean to scare you. I wouldn't have hurt you with it." He placed his hands on the counter and rolled his shoulders.

"I knew you wouldn't" she smiled to him and ran her finger up along his shoulder blade where his metal arm was welded to his skin, she'd wanted to touch him there since he'd shown her it but it never seemed like an appropriate thing to ask so instead she just did it now. Bucky twisted a little away from her touch and cleared his throat. "That tickles" he mumbled softly to her over his shoulder.

"Sorry, I should have asked before touching."

"No, it's fine. Just usually when people touched me it wasn't...enjoyable. Especially around my arm" he shrugged a little and turned back to her. "I don't mind you touching me" he took her hand and raised it to his chest slowly, letting her fingers run along the scars where his skin met the metal. "I actually like it."

She bit her lip as her eyes moved over his bare skin, her fingertips stroking gently against the metal of his arm. "I think you have better control than you give yourself credit for Bucky" she said with a smile, reaching down she took his metal hand in hers. "Not just a weapon you know." She laced her fingers with his slowly, "You need to accept that these things happened. It's in the past, you can't change that. But you can change your future. You can choose to put Hydra behind you and focus on other things. You could do so much with your life Bucky."

* * *

Bucky stood in the bathroom alone, he'd just stepped out of the shower and was eyeing himself in the steamed up mirror. Reaching out he wiped away the condensation and looked at himself, his hair wet and his cheeks stubbly. Taking the towel off the railing he wrapped it around his waist and began the strangely relaxing task of shaving his morning scruffiness. Last night had been one of the good nights, the first night he didn't wake up screaming. The first night he didn't actually dream at all. Toni'd made them both hot chocolate around 9 and they'd sat watching a movie he'd picked out from her collection.

_The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring._

She'd told him a little about it and that they were her favourite movies to watch so he wanted to see what made them so interesting to her. I'd was nice just being...normal. She'd curled up on the sofa with her mug and she just looked so relaxed and at ease. He'd tried concentrating on the movie but every time she moved he couldn't help looking at her. She'd fallen asleep near the end of the movie and he couldn't figure out how to turn the machine off so he just left it. He'd watched her for a little while, sitting at the other side of the sofa before bucking up the courage to carry her to her bed. It seemed like the right thing to do to him. She'd been taking care of him, he could do the same for her. He'd laid her down and tucked her in before he headed to his own room, flicking off the lights like she did at night.

It'd been a few days since he'd had his haircut and he was still getting used to it not being in his face. Concealing him. He needed to stop trying to do that. He was just washing the last of the gel off his face when a knock came from the door. "Buck you in there?" Toni's voice floated through the air to him and he opened up the door for her.

"I was just finishing up" he smiled and ran his fingers through his wet hair. Toni did her best to keep her eyes on his face, she really really did but god the guy was just in a towel and he was wet and oh god she could feel her face turning red.

"Hum, I just wanted to know if you'd like some pancakes? I'm going to make some for breakfast" she let out a long slow breath and tried to look anywhere but directly at him. Bucky wasn't quite sure what was wrong, why she wouldn't look at him.

"Have I done something wrong?" He asked suddenly, he wanted to know so he could fix it. "If it's about last night, I just thought you'd be more comfortable sleeping in your own bed than in the sofa and I couldn't figure out how to turn off the box, the television."

"Huh. Oh no...uh thank you, for uh I'm assuming you carried me to bed. I do appreciate that, the sofa isn't exactly great for sleeping on. And no, you haven't done anything wrong, pancakes are usually a good thing" she spoke, all the while staring down at her bare feet and then at his.

"You don't want to look at me, why?" He reached out slowly and placed a finger under her chin tilting it up to meet his eyes. Toni swallowed hard and put on a smile, trying to play it off like it was nothing.

"I am looking at you" she nodded and he pulled his hand back, placing it back on his metal shoulder and stroking the red star again. She'd upset him. Shit. "Bucky, you're really hot. Your body is just glorious. And you're just standing there in a towel, wet and I'm really trying very hard not to look at you like a popsicle but seriously..." She went off in a rant, she didn't want to upset him but she really couldn't help looking at him when he wandered around like this. He'd done it a few times now when he got out of the shower. Sat at the breakfast table in only a towel. Flustered her. Not like he was doing it on purpose but that he was comfortable. Yes she'd been with guys before, okay one guy. Mike. In college and sex with him really hadn't been that spectacular no matter what she'd tried and she'd really tried but every time she looked at Bucky when he was half naked she couldn't help thinking dirty thoughts about him. She didn't want to feel like that though, she liked him and what he needed was a friend, not a fuck. Unfortunately.

Bucky frowned at her and then looked down at himself, "What the hell's a popsicle?" He asked with a soft chuckle, a smile on his lips as he looked down at her.

She just stared back at him in disbelief. His smile at her was just so playful, that chuckle she'd never heard before. "Uh...it's like frozen flavoured ice you lick and suck on them" she said without thinking and her eyes widened at how that was going to sound since she said she looked at him like one.

"So you want to lick me?" His eyes darkened slightly and he stepped forwards, towering over her. Her cheeks turning scarlet she stepped back and bit her lip hard to stop herself saying anything else stupid.

"Go get dressed Buck, I'll make us those pancakes" she laughed it off and cleared her throat, her eyes casting over his perfect hard abs before she turned and headed to the kitchen, leaving him standing there, dripping on the hard wood floor.

The wood wasn't the only hard thing as Bucky headed to his room and dried himself off. She thought he was hot. Was that a good thing? Being considered hot. It must be the way she said it to him. She thought he was attractive. He'd surprised himself with the licking comment, it was out of his mouth before he even thought about it and now he did think about it it didn't help the issue he was having below the waist. He hadn't touched himself since the first night he'd had that bath. He'd thought about it but that blonde woman's face always surfaced in his mind. The thought of her now making him completely flaccid.

Once he was appropriately dressed in jeans and a t-shirt he headed out and ventured into the kitchen where the aroma of freshly made pancakes was filling the room. "They smell good" he said with a smile as he sat up at the breakfast bar that separated the kitchen and living area. She smiled to him and placed a stack of pancakes in front of him along with some syrup. "So...what flavour?" He smirked slightly and cut into the pancakes.

Toni glanced over at him from the cooker where she was making up her own pancakes. "Hmm? They're just syrup pancakes, I didn't have any blueberries" she said to him thinking he meant the pancakes. She scooped her own out of the pan and placed it with her own stack before joining him, sitting at the other side of the counter. She poured some syrup over hers and cut into them. She'd just taken a big bite when he spoke up again.

"I meant, what flavour Popsicle would I be?" He grinned across the table at her, eyes filled with playfulness. Unfortunately his question took her by surprise and had her gasping and practically inhaling the pancakes she had in her mouth at the time. Coughing and spluttering she took a drink of her coffee to clear her throat and looked at him, her cheeks pink.

"Bucky..." She said clearing her throat, she had no idea what to say but luckily he continued on.

"I think you'd be cherry flavoured" his eyes glanced down at his pancakes smiling. She'd introduced him the day before to CherryPops, her favourite lollipops. They'd been an instant winner and she'd barely gotten to have one out of the twenty pack she'd bought. "I like cherry" he said rather quietly before taking a bite of his pancakes, his eyes on her.

"You're awfully playful today" she said before taking another drink off her coffee and eyeing him through her lashes over the rim of the cup. Placing the cup down she bit her lip and thought about his question.

_What flavour Popsicle would he be?_

"Why don't you let me taste and I'll tell you?" She smirked across at him, trying to one up him and laughed. She couldn't help it, she wasn't exactly good with the flirting thing. Guys had never exactly been lining up to flirt with her so it didn't come naturally. Bucky's eyes widened a little in surprise before he smiled, shaking his head and laughing with her.

"Well I wouldn't object if you tried" he winked to her and picked up his mug of coffee. Something was different today. He was so relaxed, so happy. She usually had to coax it out of him in the mornings, after his...nightmares. Nightmares. She blinked at him as she realised. He hadn't had a nightmare last night. He hadn't woken up screaming. One night without those nightmares and he was basically a different person. A happy person. She didn't want to make a big thing out of it, she didn't want to take the risk of it pushing him back in his shell if she mentioned it so she didn't.

"So, Smithsonian today?" She asked, changing the subject a little, mainly because there was a good chance that if he kept looking at her like he was she would actually attempt to lick him and god knows how that would end.

Bucky shrugged a little and sipped his coffee. He'd kept putting off their trip to the Smithsonian. Making up excuses for why they should do something else. Truth was, he was afraid to go. Afraid to try and live up to being the man he once was. It was just easier to take himself one day at a time than to have to look back at his past like that. "Maybe tomorrow...? I just..." He brushed his hand across the red star again and Toni shrugged, trying to stop the impending awkwardness he was feeling.

"No worries, I was actually thinking...my friend John text me about this new bar that's just opened up. Dancing, drinking, maybe karaoke. I thought I could take you out, show you some nightlife. Get you hammered." She laughed joking of course.

"What's karaoke?" He asked, his eyes lighting up as she explained it all to him.

* * *

_Well hope you're enjoying it so far.** Please leave a comment** and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hey all!**_

_**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read. **#MatureContent**._

* * *

Leaning against the bathroom counter Toni finished applying her red lipstick and smiled at her reflection. She cleaned up pretty well, her usually tangled mess of curls now tied up and in ringlets flowing down her back. Fluttering her overly large fake eyelashes at herself she laughed before spritzing on a little perfume and making her way out of the bathroom.

She paused a little, mid way through walking past Bucky's room. Glancing inside she smiled as she caught sight of him. He was in a light blue shirt, jeans and his leather jacket. He sat on the bed, his eyes on his own reflection in the mirror, his hand raised up so his fingers where twirling the tips of his hair. The look of concentration on his face was just adorable and she leaned against the doorframe for a moment just watching him as he played with his hair.

"I know you're there." He smiled and dropped his hand looking over at her from the bed before he got up and ran his hands down himself. "Is this what people wear to go out now?" He asked her and slid his hands into his pockets. She'd picked the outfit out for him but he still seemed a bit unsure about it.

"I think you need to stop worrying. You look amazing and I'm going to make sure you have a great time tonight" she pushed herself off the door and winked to him before she headed to the kitchen.

Bucky watched her hips sway in that short red dress as she walked away from him. Glancing back at the mirror he grinned at himself and went after her. Finding her in the kitchen, two shot glasses on the table she poured a golden liquid into each. "What's that?" He asked raising a brow at her.

"Tequila" she smiled, raising the glass to her lips and drinking down the liquid. Her face scrunching up and she gasps. "Mmm love it. Your turn" she slid the other small glass over the counter to him and poured herself another. He eyed her for a moment before picking up the glass and doing as she did. Drinking it all in one smooth movement. He coughed and took in a deep breath, it felt like his throat was on fire.

"Wow" he chuckled, placing the glass down and licking his lips, "How about another?" He grinned back at her and she smiled pouring him out another.

"To new starts?" She suggested, holding out her glass to clink with his.

Bucky thought for a moment before he copied her, tapping his glass against hers. "To new starts" he repeated, downing his shot as he watched her do the same. It was pretty good that stuff. Tequila.

"So my friend John put our names on the list for the opening tonight, he's going to start up a tab for us so we don't have to worry about money or anything tonight" she spoke as she wandered around the room picking up things and putting them into her handbag. "Oh..." She stopped suddenly and looked across at him, "Nowadays people are a lot more open about things. How do I put this...My friend John is gay. You're cool about all that right?" She asked rather awkwardly. She knew he was from another time but she really hoped he didn't get that homophobic way.

"He likes men, you mean? I'm fine with that. Considering I've murdered and tortured people for a terrorist organisation I don't think I really have the right to judge how anyone lives their life." He dragged a hand through his hair and smiled to her slowly. He didn't care about those kinds of things. At least they got to live how they wanted too.

"Good, I didn't want to have to kick you out for being homophobic" she laughed softly across at him and he rolled his eyes at her playfully.

"I'm not homophobic. I don't think I'd have been that kind of guy though before. Doesn't feel like he would be. Prejudiced. Do you?" He frowned and rubbed at his jaw in thought.

"My grandfather wasn't, and he and you were friends so, no I don't think you would have been" Toni nodded and looked across at him. "Anyway, like you said, no one has any right to judge anyone else or how they live. Love is love, no matter who you're with. So, shall we?" She smiled cheekily and held out her arm for him before he could do it for her. Chuckling slightly Bucky stepped forwards and took her arm as they headed out the door together.

* * *

They're been at the club around an hour, Toni introducing him to John and a few other people who's names he couldn't remember no matter how hard he tried. It was getting busy, the music was loud and it was very dark. Lights suddenly spiralling around the room every few moments. People out on the dance floor, moving around in a way he'd never seen before. He and Toni had found a nice little spot to sit and drink, the large sofa they resided on just out of the way of the dance floor.

They were on their third round of shots when he noticed the red head sitting at the bar, her eyes in him. Her outfit barely left anything to the imagination, a short black skirt and right gold top. Her hair wasn't a natural red, more like the colour of blood. He blinked a little and took another shot, his eyes turning back to her but she was gone from his sights.

Toni was actually enjoying herself. She didn't often do things like this, go to clubs or parties but John had been an old friend from uni and she wanted to support his new venture into the wonderful world of clubbing. The music was kind of good, if a little loud but she was having fun showing Bucky all the different types of drinks. So far they'd had shots of Tequila, Vodka, Sambuca, Jägermeister and Goldschläger. His favourite so far being the 3 Goldschläger he'd just downed. She had to admit he seemed to have a pretty high alcohol tolerance. Toni on the other hand was beginning to feel the effects of her own shots and decided to go and get them something they could take their time drinking.

Toni'd only been gone from the table a moment when Bucky felt someone sinking into the sofa beside him. Twisting around he smiled, "Forget something?" he chuckled expecting to see Toni but instead there beside him sat the red head from the bar. A smile on her lips as she ran her fingers against his neck and he leaned away a little.

"I haven't forgotten anything" she giggled and leaned against him, "I'm Chloe, I'm sure Toni told you all about me." She laughed and fluttered her lashes. "So what's such a handsome guy like you doing with her, where's she been hiding you?"

Bucky chuckled slightly, feeling a little uncomfortable before shrugging. "She hasn't been hiding me anywhere and no she hasn't mentioned you. I'd have remembered something like that." He smiled back at her trying to be friendly, especially if she was a friend of Toni's he didn't want to upset her.

"Oh she hasn't?" Chloe pouted at him and kneeled on the couch beside him, "I suppose I'll just have to find my own way to make myself memorable." She smirked as she whispered against his ear, her hand finding it's way up his thigh slowly. Bucky swallowed hard and looked down at her hand. What the...

Before he could think much less react she was kissing him. Forcefully, possessively and although his first thought was to push her away, the moment his hands found themselves at her waist he was pulling her closer. She tasted like liquorice, and he kissed her back instinctively whilst she moved to straddle him. Her hands moving over his chest.

_Was this normal? Did women do this kind of thing now a days? From what he'd read you had to woe a woman, be a gentleman and courteous to them. This most definitely wasn't gentlemanly._

Bucky's mind was out of the equation as his body simply reacted to hers. His hands gripping at her hips, pulling her closer to him. He groaned out against her mouth as her hands ran through his hair and she slowly began grinding her hips into him.

"So I got you a jack and coke, it's..." Toni stepped around the corner drinks in hand, babbling on about Jack Daniels. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw them. Chloe all over him and he wasn't exactly putting up a fight by how his hands where all over her. Chloe twisted around to look at her from Bucky's lap and smirked.

"I think we're good here sweetheart but thanks" she licked her lips and turned her attention back to Bucky who was sitting there looking at them both slightly bewildered. Toni stepped back a little and turned, if she didn't move away from Chloe right now she was going to end up putting one of the glasses over her head. Walking away from them she downed the entire glass of Jack and Coke she'd gotten for Bucky and headed back to the bar. If he wanted to dry hump that whore he could. It wasn't any of her business. At least that's what she told herself.

"Toni, wait..." Bucky reached out for her but she was already gone. Pushing Chloe off him he got up and moved to go after her.

"Hey, where are you going? We were just beginning to have a little fun!" Chloe laughed as she called out to him. Bucky moved through the crowded dance floor and up to the bar where he could see her. Stepping in beside her he placed his hand on her arm and she pulled it back.

"Hey...I...it wasn't..." He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say but he felt like he should be saying something. Toni looked up at him, her face blank. Completely expressionless and that's when he realised he'd fucked up. Big time. "Shit...look I wasn't...she kissed me and it felt really good...she felt good..." Toni's eyes narrowed at him before she looked back at her drink. Okay, clearly that wasn't the right thing to say.

"Well if it felt so good, why are you here?" She said coldly before tapping the bar. "Go on, I'm sure she'll give you a quickie in the gents if you ask nicely." She glared down at her glass. She wasn't sure why she was so angry, it wasn't like she and Bucky had a thing and as far as she was aware he hadn't been with anyone since he got free of Hydra, he must be desperate if he was so willing to lock lips with Chloe. She knew what Chloe was like, her latching onto Bucky wasn't a surprise. She'd hated Toni for years, they'd been friends once. Before Chloe got into boys and Toni into more interesting things.

"A quickie...?" He frowned, puzzled at her but then an arm wrapped around his waist and Chloe was smiling up at him.

"Where did you run off too lover?" She smirked and ran a hand up the front of his shirt slowly, making it extremely obvious in front of Toni. Her eyes narrowing as she looked over at her. "Hope Toni isn't bothering you, after all we were having so much fun before you ran after her."

"Yes, I'm sure you were, you always seem to have a lot of "fun" Chloe" Toni spat the words back at her but Chloe only shrugged and seemed to lean even more into Bucky. "Go enjoy yourself Buck, Chloe is so very experienced after all." She glared before walking away from them and out into the dance floor. Bucky moved to go after her but Chloe gripped his arm.

"Oh come on, she said we should have some fun" Chloe sucked on her lower lip and batted her eyes, "You want to have fun don't you?"

Bucky frowned deeply as he watched Toni out on the dancefloor. She already had the attention of a number of men as she danced and swayed her hips to the music. Bucky narrowed his eyes as a man moved behind her and started dancing with her. His hands on her hips as she leaned back into him. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was angry. He wanted to march over there and rip that mans hands off her but she'd made herself pretty clear.

"Come on. Buck, I'm a fun girl" Chloe giggled and tugged at his arm and tiptoed kissing the corner of his mouth, trying to regain his attention, "let me show you just how fun."

His face hard he twisted around, gripped her hips and pulled her roughly against him, kissing her back forcefully and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "So show me just how fun you are" he smirked back at her and let her lead him off towards the sofa area.

* * *

_Well hope you're enjoying it so far. P**lease leave a comment** and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey all!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read. **#MatureContent.**_

* * *

Bucky groaned loudly as Chloe kissed along his neck, her hand on his thigh rubbing against his growing manhood. No one would hear them, they sat in a far off corner Chloe had brought him too. She clearly knew the layout well, she'd chosen a perfect spot where they wouldn't be disturbed. In the back of his mind Bucky knew this wasn't right. He knew what he was feeling was good, her hand, her mouth. She felt so good. And yet he knew it was wrong. It was another feeling, in the pit of his stomach and he pulled back from her to tell her to stop.

His eyes opening, he tensed up in panic as sitting beside him, kissing him and caressing his thigh was the woman from his nightmares. Blonde, beautiful, she smelled of roses and it made him sick. He shoved her away from him and stood up, his breathing ragged and harsh, any arousal he'd had completely gone as he felt a cold sweat envelope him.

"What the fuck!" Chloe growled and glared at him, shoving at his side. "What the fuck was that!?" she narrowed her eyes at him, sweat creasing his brow. "You alright?" she frowned and ran a hand up his chest, feeling his hard, tense muscles under her fingers.

"Don't" he mumbled gripping her hand and moving it away from him, "I need a minute." He took a breath and walked away from her, heading for the men's restroom to try and sort out his head.

The women. All he got of her was bits and pieces. He could remember each of his missions now. All of them. The Hydra scientists who'd experimented on them. Alexander Pierce...but that woman...she was a mystery. A horrible, revolting, makes you sick to try and remember type of mystery.

Standing at the sink he stared at himself in the large mirror. His hair was disheveled and he had red lipstick marks around his mouth and down his neck. Sighing softly he rubbed at his eyes. The memory of Toni curled up on the sofa beside him filling his mind. A small smile forming on his lips.

_What am I doing?_

Grabbing a towel from the dispenser he began washing the lipstick marks off his neck. A whistle coming from behind him and he looked up in the mirror to see a guy in a floral shirt and jeans eying him. "Well haven't you been a busy boy tonight!" The guy laughed as he walked over and stood beside him, leaning back against the sink. His dark hair glistened with a deep blue streak across his fringe. "That Chloe is a rough one I tell you, you're a brave man going in there."

"Yeah she seems to be one hell of a crazy dame" Bucky replied with a grin and then frowned, he'd said that kind of thing before, a very long time ago. Glancing down he began washing his hands and shrugged. "So you know her?" He enquired, wondering just who this kid was.

"Oh, I know everyone darling, everyone but you that is" he smiled playfully and pushed himself up to sit on the sink and cross his long, slim legs. "The name's Benjamin. Benji for short, and who might you be?" Benji brushed back his fringe from his eyes and Bucky looked at him with a raised brow. He had one green eye and one brown. Bucky tilted his head, intrigued by the sight but before he got a better look Benji's fringe was in his eyes again.

"I go by Bucky. I'm a friend of Toni Hawthorne."

"Oh you are, are you? Little Antonia keeping you all to herself, how selfish of her. I'll need to be having words with that little minx" Benji laughed and hopped off the sink, walking over to the urinal as Bucky dried off his hands. "You take care with that Chloe, she's a man-eater that one."

Bucky chuckled slightly as he binned his paper towels and headed for the door. "A man-eater? Well I will have to be careful, thanks for the advice Benji." He gave him a nod and headed out the door with a smile. The kid seemed interesting, well to him at least.

* * *

Toni sat by the bar and downed her shot. She'd gotten fed up with dancing and all the creepy guys who kept groping her like she was some piece of meat, now she just wanted to go home but it wasn't like she could. She didn't want to just leave Bucky on his own like that. Sure she was upset about him being an idiot and going off with Chloe but she wasn't the kind of person to do something maliciously. Besides nothing was going on with her and Bucky, she didn't have any right to be upset that he wanted to go off with Chloe. He was a man after all. He has needs. She wasn't about to tell him he can't sleep with someone, that would be weird.

Ordering another long drink she hummed softly along with the music and glanced around catching sight of Benji she squealed and waved to him. "Benji!" she laughed and jumped off her seat, her arms wrapping tightly around him. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Miami!" She slapped his chest and they both slid into the seats at the bar.

"Oh darling Miami was just so boring without you. I wish you'd come. Honestly, I spent 6 weeks with Glenn before he just started driving me crazy. I had to get out of there and where else would I go but home?" He smiled to her playfully, telling her about his last few weeks. How Glenn had become a different person when they'd moved in together and that Benji hadn't been able to adapt to life in Miami. "I mean, the weather was nice. Some sexy half naked girls and guys wandering around, what's not to love but it wasn't home."

Toni just shook her head at him and laughed. She'd known Benji for about 6 years. He moved from city to city every so often but he always returned to New York at some point. They'd even been roommates for a year or so before Benji met a new man and he fell hopelessly in love like he always did.

"So tell me about big, sexy, stud-muffin Bucky" Benji poked her ribs and she giggled squirming away from him, he knew just how ticklish she was. "I met him in the men's room, such a strapping fellow shame he and Chloe are getting acquainted." Benji raised an eyebrow at her and nodded to the hallway that led to the bathrooms. Toni frowned softly in confusion before glancing over to see Bucky and Chloe in the small space. They were clearly in a heated argument, Chloe's face was reddening and Toni had only ever seen her look like that once before. The first time Chloe met Benji.

Bucky looked uncomfortable as he stood there being, what looked like, screamed at by Chloe. Toni wondered what could've made her react like that and she knew she couldn't leave Bucky to deal with her alone. Patting Benji on the shoulder she told him she'd be back and made her way over to them. She was half way there when Chloe pulled back her hand and slapped Bucky hard across the face. Toni's eyes widened as she saw Bucky tense up, his fists tightening and he looked...panicked. His face hard and yet his eyes were fearful.

Toni saw red and before she knew what she was doing she was beside them both, her fists clenched she punched Chloe square in the face. Staggering back Chloe clutched at her nose and screamed out, "YOU BITCH!" before she lunged for Toni. Reacting on instinct Toni twisted out of her way and gripped her arm, twisting it as she swung with her, using her own momentum she pushed her into the wall and held Chloe there. Her arm twisted up her back painfully so.

"If you ever so much as look at him again in a way I don't like I will fucking break your arm Chloe, understand me!?" Toni growled against her ear, when Chloe didn't reply she repeated, "Understand!?" Twisting her wrist hard.

"Agh! Yes! Argh! I understand! I understand! Please...Please!" she cried out and begged as tears began streaming down her face, as well as blood from her clearly now broken nose. Loosening her grip Toni let go of her and Chloe ran off clutching her bruised arm and trying to hide her face from the number of people who were watching them.

Toni narrowed her eyes at them and they went back to their drinks and whatever they'd been doing before. Taking a breath she looked back to Bucky who had turned away from her. Reaching out she touched his arm and he flinched away from her. "Hey...it's just me..." she stepped in front of him and smiled softly, "you okay?"

Bucky blinked a little and glanced down at her, clenching and unclenching his fists. "She hit me. I wasn't...I didn't want to hit her back. I didn't want to hurt her." He swallowed hard and looked away. Toni frowned softly, he'd clearly thought about it.

"Well it's a good thing I hurt her instead isn't it?" She smiled up at him, "hey, you didn't hurt anyone. I'm sorry she did that. I shouldn't have left you with her, I was...jealous and being stupid and I should have never left you alone with her."

Bucky rubbed at his jaw where she'd slapped him and frowned. It'd stung. He'd been in so many fights, he'd been shot, stabbed...experimented on, electrocuted. He'd felt none of that, but that slap...it stung. He smiled down at Toni as he realised something. It'd stung. He was here. He wasn't just some machine or robot. He was a man. Who bled and felt. It was only now he was realising just how empty he'd been before as just a weapon. How hollow.

"I'm fine. I may have deserved it to be honest." He grinned a little and dragged his fingers through his thick messy hair. "Said she was...never mind, it wasn't exactly gentlemanly. I don't know where it came from, it just sort of slipped out my mouth while she was shouting at me."

Toni raised a brow at him, "oh come on, you have to tell me what you said!" She laughed and slowly took his arm, smiling when he let her and even leaned into her.

"Toni, I'm sorry about...kissing Chloe. It wasn't...I haven't experienced that, at least not that I remember. I was just overwhelmed" he tried to explain it to her, he needed her to understand but she placed her hand on his chest and shrugged.

"I know, you don't have to be sorry or explain anything to me Bucky. Seriously...so, let's get drunk and have fun" She nodded slowly and then they headed over to the bar where Benji was sitting.

"Well damn guuuuurl that was one hell of a right hook babydoll" Benji grinned at her and twirled around on the bar stool, "she looked completely devastated when she ran out of here. I love it." He handed them both a shot and downed his own whilst they looked at one another and Toni downed her own shot.

"Where exactly did you learn to do that?" Bucky asked her, raising his own shot glass to his lips and drinking the clear aniseed flavoured fluid. "You've had training." He noted, placing the glass back on the table.

"I uh..." Toni blushed a little and shrugged, "my parents...they kind of insisted on it as I grew up and since my papa pretty much raised me I got to learn a lot of self defence and stuff like that." She bit her lip and shrugged. "Anyway, less about me and more about the drinking" she laughed and reached out grabbing a shot from the round Benji had just ordered for them.

* * *

Bucky laughed as Toni clung to him, she'd dragged him out onto the dance floor after their...17th shot...he wasn't quite sure, he'd lost count at their 13th and she'd danced the feet off him. Benji had joined them after a while but he was easily distracted. Especially by tall blonde men with big doe eyes standing at the bar. They headed outside and both gasped as the cold night air hit them. "Time for home, me thinks Mr. Barnes" Toni smiled up at him, her eyes glazed and he smiled back brushing her hair from her face.

"Taking me home already Miss. Hawthorne? And here I was thinking I'd have to buy you dinner first" he joked and they both laughed as they walked down the street to find a cab.

"You're so cheeky Bucky. It's nice. So cheeky" she pinched his cheeks once they were in the cab and had managed to successfully give the address to the cabby. She twisted around and leaned back into him, his metal arm wrapping around her and she took his hand, moving her fingers in and out of his own. "So pretty" she mumbled dreamily to herself as she examined his hand.

He didn't mind in the slightest. He was dizzy and the way she leaned back against him her hair fell against his neck and he leaned closer, pressing his face against her hair and breathing in her soft floral perfume. "I love your hair" he murmured against her ear, causing her to shudder against him and giggle. "What?" He leaned forwards looking at her surprised at the noise she made. She bit her lip and giggled again. Bucky licked his lips, the sudden urge to take that bottom lip of her between his teeth and tug it filling his mind. Unfortunately their journey came to an end before he could do anything that would get him slapped again.

Once they'd paid the cabby they managed to stumble upstairs and Toni struggled to get the key in the door, luckily she managed it after the third try. Falling inside and tripped up and landed flat on her ass. Rolling onto her back she laughed and just laid on the floor looking up at Bucky standing over her. "Going to help a damsel in distress?" She gasped, pulling a damsel in distress pose before she held out her hand to him and pouted.

Reaching out he took her hand and attempted to pull her to her feet, instead he underestimated his strength and pulled her right up against him. Her whole body suddenly against him. "Woah!" They both spoke in time and laughed. "Well aren't you strong!" She smiled but didn't pull away. Instead she ran her hands up his shoulders and into her hair. "You're sooooo pretty..."

"You're sooooo drunk..." He replied, his arms wrapping around her waist holding her closer. He was enjoying the feel of her fingers in his hair, his eyes closing he groaned out softly when suddenly he felt her lips against his. She was kissing him. Softly. Tentatively. It wasn't like how Chloe had kissed him, it wasn't forceful or rough. It was as if she was testing to see if he'd kiss her back, and kiss her back he did.

His hand moved up to slip around the back of her neck as the other held her close as he kissed her back slowly. Both of them enjoying the moment as if they'd been waiting a lifetime for it. After a moment of softness, tenderness he deepened their embrace. Her hands tightening in his hair as he slipped his tongue between her lips and tasted her. She tasted of liquorice and he loved it, he smirked against her lips.

Gripping her ass he picked her up off the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist eagerly, a giggle falling from her lips as they parted from his momentarily. Bucky carrying her through the apartment and into her bedroom. Falling down onto the bed he leaned over her with a smile.

"Mmm Bucky..." She groaned softly and ran a hand down his chest. She had no idea what the hell she was doing. It was like this was all a really great dream. One she'd had before but never so clearly.

Bucky swallowed hard and looked down watching her hand move over him. He blinked a little and looked back at her, she wanted him but..."Wait..." He sighed softly and took her hand. Pressing his forehead to hers. "We've had a lot to drink" he murmured against her lips, "we shouldn't do this."

Toni felt as if her heart had just jumped into her throat. "You don't want me...?" She whispered softly and she felt her face redden in embarrassment. She pushed herself away from him up the bed but he gripped her hips and pulled her back. "Don't..."

"No, I do want you" he cupped her face and kissed her chastely, "but I want you to be 100% sure you want -me-."

"I -do- want you Bucky. I want you so bad. Watching you kissing Chloe, god I was so jealous."

"You're drunk...I'm drunk...I want to be able to take my time with you. Explore ever little part of you Toni" he growled against her ear and leaned into her, his hands running up her stomach slowly and she felt her dress hitching up. Her black lace panties on display, not that she cared. Bucky however, swallowed hard and controlled himself, he desperately wanted to run his finger up those pretty little panties but he didn't.

"So take me?" She leaned up capturing his lips, this time it wasn't tender, it was desperate and filled with need. God he found it hard not to just give in and sink into her on the bed. Instead he pulled back from her and kissed along her neck.

"If you still feel the same way in the morning I will. All day." He leaned up on his arms and looked down at her with a smile, "If you still want me in the morning I'm all yours." He pushed himself up and swallowed hard as he looked back at her, her hair disheveled, lipstick smeared, dress hitched up around her waist. Moving back to her he pulled her dress back down and she pouted.

"So morning sex huh?" She laughed softly and leaned up on her elbows watching him. "Hey um...do you want to stay? Just...it's a big bed. I promise to behave." She smiled softly and lay back stretching before pushing herself up and laying against her pillows.

Bucky knew he shouldn't but what was the harm? Nodding his head slowly he took off the leather jacket and laid it out across the desk before he slipped off his shoes and crawled up the bed to lay beside her. Toni smiled softly and slowly moved closer, snuggling against him she laid her head on his shoulder and sighed happily.

Slowly he began to brush his fingers up and down her arm, his cheek pressing against the top of her head. It wasn't long before she was sound asleep, cuddled against him. Bucky hadn't felt so relaxed and happy in a very long time. Whether or not she changed her mind about wanting him in the morning he didn't care. This was enough for him. Having her so close, so relaxed and easy with him that she could sleep like this, her head resting against his shoulder. She snored softly and he smiled as he himself slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_Well hope you're enjoying it so far. **Please leave a comment** and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter._


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey all!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters or anything from the Marvel universe. I'm just a fan who fancied writing up what I'd like to happen with Bucky after Captain America : The Winter Soldier, which is where my Fic starts. Right from the end of Movie 2. So I hope you enjoy what you read. #MatureContent.**

* * *

Toni groaned softly in annoyance as she rolled over in bed and hit something hard. Blinking her eyes open she gasped for a moment seeing Bucky sprawled out beside her. His right arm outstretched which is what she'd been laying on, the hard thing she rolled into was his chest. Glancing down she realised she still had her red dress on. The night before flooding her memory. The club. Chloe. Benji. The cab home and then...

_Oh god..._

Toni licked her dry lips and rubbed at her forehead. Bucky lay beside her unmoving, not making a sound and it was a little unnerving but...he looked so peaceful. His face was soft, completely relaxed and she watched his chest rise and fall. Smiling softly, a blush creeping over her cheeks as she remembered what he'd whispered against her ear the night before about her still wanting him in the morning and what he'd do. She did. Her alcoholic confidence may have worn off but it didn't change what she'd said, what she'd done. Nibbling at her lip, she could remember how it felt kissing him. His hands on her, hers on his. Yes, she still wanted him now she was sober. She'd wanted him even before last night but the alcohol had just helped to express it.

Leaning down she kissed lightly against his neck, her lips barely a whisper on his skin and he shifted a little. Toni lay down beside him and cozied up against his side, her fingertips gliding across the small exposed area of skin at the bottom of his shirt just below his navel. He looked really peaceful.

He'd gone the past week without any nightmares at all. He had the odd moment now and again when he'd get back a memory of something he'd done in the past where he'd suddenly drop something or he'd tense up but he was managing those moments alright. There had been a few he'd gotten back that he'd really struggled with. He'd told her them all, confided in her. Even the ones that killed him to talk about. Like the senators daughter. Hydra had woken him and sent him out to execute the wife and kidnap the young daughter of a senator who they'd been manipulating at the time. He told her about how he remembered shooting the mother, dragging the daughter from the house and taking her to his handlers. How they'd frozen him again shortly after and he had no idea what had happened to the girl. She'd researched it on the computer for him but the girl, Lily, had never been seen again. He'd taken that hard. Another reason she'd thought he could do with a night out, an escape from all those memories. From the feeling of his complete lack of control. She'd wanted to help show him he had that back. That no one would control him again.

Bucky let out a slight moan. He could feel a tingling against his stomach and lower. Tensing up a little he opened his eyes and looked down, frowning a little as he saw a hand there, fingers tickling against him. Turning a little he found himself smiling as he found Toni snuggled in against him and it being her who was doing this to him. "Well good morning to you too" he chuckled and leaned back against the pillows again with a smile to her.

"I didn't mean to wake you" she flattened her hand against his stomach much to his disappointment and leaned up on her elbow to look at him. Her mascara was smudged under her eyes and her red lipstick from the night before had stained her lips pink. All Bucky could think about doing was taking her face in his hands and kissing her but he restrained himself.

"It's a great way to wake up" he smiled and brushed a hand through his hair.

"I can think of a better way but I thought it might freak you out a little" she smirked playfully and leaned her chin on his chest looking up at him. Bucky just raised a brow at her, a little confused by what she meant.

"A better way?" he enquired as he lightly began playing with her hair between his fingers, "well do tell?"

"I'd much rather show you" she replied, licking her lips and leaning up to kneel beside him. "I remember what you said last night..." She brushed her hair back from her face and smiled softly. "I um...I still feel the same way...if you do..."

Raising a slow brow Bucky sat up straight and looked at her. "You do?" He asked as his hand reached out and he brushed a thumb down her jaw slowly. Toni tilted her head a little and kissed his palm, nodding. Bucky didn't hesitate to pull her closer, his hands on her hips and a small smile playing across his lips as she settled, straddling his lap.

"So I can take my time?" He asked, his eyes darkening a little as he leaned in a brushed his nose down her neck. "I've remembered a lot of things, but I don't ever remember wanting anyone as badly as I want you Toni."

"Is that so?" Toni couldn't help the smile that fell across her lips, she felt the onset of nervousness in her stomach, the butterflies fluttering as he lightly kissed her collar bone. "I want you too Buck" she mumbled softly and cupped his face in her hands, bring ing his lips to hers and kissing him, gently to start with but as his hands moved around her and pulled her closer it became a little rougher, more desperate.

Her hands flat on his chest she pushed him back suddenly against the bed. A gentle surprised gasp emerging from his lips at her actions and she smirked playfully down at him, her hands gliding over his chest and down his stomach before running up her own thighs and gripping the hem of her dress. In one smooth fluid move she pulled it off and threw it to the floor.

Bucky licked his lips at the sight of her straddling him in only her black lace bra and panties. He wanted to reach out and touch her but he held himself back. She was so perfect, so delicate...He glanced to his left arm and opened and closed his metal hand.

Toni knew the signs the moment he began doubting himself, she wasn't going to let him doubt this. Reaching out she took his hands and moved them to her hips. "Stop worrying" she told him with a smile and leaned over, kissing his lips. "I want you, you want me, forget everything else but this moment, with me."

He couldn't deny she saw right through him and she was right. He didn't need to be so worried, he was in control. Brushing his fingers up the soft skin of her stomach until his hand rested under the cup of her breast, his thumb stroking ever so gently against her nipple feeling it harden under the lace. His eyes on hers and he watched her pupils dilate and her soft gasp of breath. He liked that sight of her like that, the pleasure on her face and he couldn't wait to make her gasp and moan in other ways.

He was still wearing far too many clothes, Toni decided. Her fingers moving down to unbuckle his belt and he leaned back, watching her intently up until the moment her hand slid smoothly into his jeans and she found him beneath his boxers. She was slightly disappointed when Bucky lifted her by the hips and brought her further up to sit on his stomach so he could kick off his jeans. She'd been enjoying the feel of him and she pouted at him.

He saw the pout, and laughed. She was so very cute when she pouted. "What?" he grinned, his hands sliding up her thighs slowly to tease her and she felt the sensitive little bud at her core pulse in anticipation. Leaning back she removed his boxers from him and threw them beside her dress on the floor. Twisting back her eyes on him as she gently ran her fingers along the length of him behind her, he was already hard and he quivered a little against her hand as she wrapped it around his thick base.

_His eyes widened at the pleasurable sensation, he hadn't been able to feel this way, not by himself at least. His heart increased in pace as the room began to go dark. He couldn't understand it and he tried reaching out to Toni but he couldn't. Glancing at his arms he saw them in metal binds. He was back in that chair. Strapped down and unable to move. "Toni..." he mumbled and glanced up at her, desperate for her face but it wasn't her face staring back at him. Instead it was the blonde woman, her green eyes piercing as she stared back at him, a sick smile on her ruby lips._

_"We're going to have some fun again Winter" she laughed and flashed the needle in front of him. No...don't... He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He could only watch as she sunk the needle into his arm and pushed the blue fluid into him. Not again... He tried to look away from her but he couldn't. "What's the matter my pet? Not enjoy our little sessions together?" She smirked darkly and slipped off her black coat, revealing her naked self underneath and he felt sick at the sight. "It doesn't matter, I'm going to wipe that pretty little head of yours clean once I'm done, as always." She reached down and began stroking his cock, helping out the drug she pumped him with which was making him hard for her. "Mmm you're always so much fun" she laughed before tightening her hand._

Bucky jolted back to reality, grabbing her and twisting them both over on the bed, her hands pinned above her head so she couldn't touch him. "Don't! Don't..." His eyes began to focus and instead of the woman, below him was Toni, her eyes wide. His eyes widened in shock and panic and he let her go, kneeling up he moved away from her. "I'm sorry" he said, holding his hands up and twisting away from her to sit at the edge of the bed. He understood now. Understood exactly why that woman frightened him so much. She'd tortured him. Used him for...pleasure. He could remember it...all of it.

Toni wasn't sure what had happened. One minute everything was fine and the next he was pushing her away, a frightened look on his face. Slowly she moved over and kneeled behind him. "What's wrong?" She asked gently, worried he'd close off from her. "If you're not ready for something so physical you can say, I won't push you."

Bucky glanced at her and his frown deepened. "Thank you" he nodded and clenched and unclenched his hands. "I remembered something...something I wish I hadn't..." He let out a long ragged sigh and rubbed his face. "I don't...I don't know how..."

"You don't have to talk about it if you aren't ready" she placed a hand on his arm and kissed his shoulder softly. Bucky did his best not to tense up, this was Toni after all, she'd never hurt him not like that.

"There was a woman at Hydra," he began, "her name was Valerie Francis. She was in charge when Pierce wasn't around. When my missions were complete and I was to be wiped and re-frozen she would...she would do things to me. Use me." His hands clenched almost painfully and he looked away as if ashamed by that.

It took a moment for Toni to actually click on, and when she did she couldn't hide her horror. How could someone be -that- cruel? She could never understand how people could do such things to one another. "Hey" she cupped his cheek slowly and turned his face back to look at her, "No one is ever going to hurt you like that again. I promise you. -You- are in complete control now Bucky. No one can do anything to you that you don't want. I won't let anyone hurt you."

He took a breath before looking at her. What he'd remembered hadn't quelled his desire for her, if anything he was more desperate for her now, desperate to feel her gentle touch, to make new memories that weren't filled with pain and horror. Reaching out he ran his hands into her hair and leaned into her, his lips finding hers as if magnetised. Their kiss was slow, careful and full of longing. Neither of them moved away when they parted, simply resting their foreheads against one another and breathing.

"I still want to kiss and taste every inch of you Toni" he whispered softly, his fingers gliding up and down her arm giving her goosebumps, "I want a new memory, one of you moaning my name, of the taste of your skin, the feel of you under my hands." He gripped her hips and rolled her onto her back, her dark curls spread out against the pillows.

"Bucky...are you sure this is what you want? I can wait if you aren't ready. All I care about is you." She looked up at him and he smiled back at her.

"I won't let the past ruin me. I can't. And maybe you can wait but I can't. And so long as you still want me, I want this. I want you." He leaned in and kissed her, relaxing as she kissed him back softly.

"I'm yours Bucky" she mumbled against his lips and smiled, "You're in control. Don't forget." She brushed her fingers through his hair.

Bucky wanted to take his time with her. To push everything out of his memory and mind but her and he wanted to have her do the same. Moving her hands up onto the headboard he leaned over her and let his eyes roam down her body. Beautiful. Running his hand down her arm, her neck and along the side of her breast before his thumb began where it'd left off, stroking and teasing her nipple through the black lace. Moving further down he tilted his head and took the top of the lace between his teeth and pulled it down to reveal her bareness. His eyes on hers as he flicked out his tongue and circled her hard nipple before sucking it into his mouth. A smile forming on his lips as he heard her gasp.

Toni was finding it hard to keep her hands on the headboard. She wanted to touch him, to run her fingers down through his hair and over his broad shoulders but she resisted, she wanted him to have this control. To have something he hadn't had in a long time. Free will. But damn he was making it hard, especially the way his hard abs were pressing against her core. It took all her self control not to grind against him.

Undoing her clasp Bucky removed her bra and slowly began massaging her voluptuous breasts between his hands and watched her shiver realising his hand must be cold with the metal. "Sorry" - "No...I...I like it it's different..." She told him and bit her lip As her cheeks reddened.

Moving lower he kissed his way down her stomach and then moved her legs apart to kiss and nibble along her thighs, listening to her soft moans as his tongue glided higher and higher. So desperately close to her core. Bucky nibbled and licked along the crease of her thigh before kissing a slow line up her panties, her legs moving over his shoulders.

"Mmm..." she let out a soft whine and looked down at him, "such a tease." She giggled and bit her lower lip hard. The look in her eyes was what had him mesmerised. The longing. The lust. He loved that look on her. With a smirk he found her clit with his tongue and began sucking on it through her panties. Her little soft moans music to his ears and pushing everything else out of his head. All he could think about was making her make more of those noises.

Toni's hands gripped the headboard so hard she was afraid she might actually rip it off. He'd tugged her panties off and placed his hands on her thighs to spread her legs wide, his mouth and tongue just magic as he toyed and played with her hard little clit. His tongue sinking lower to tease her entrance before he'd return to her clit. She could feel her stomach tensing and tightening. Her core throbbing against his tongue.

"Bucky...ah..." she gasped and sucked in a ragged breath, trying not to tense as the pleasure grew so intense and just when she thought she might cum he stopped and she groaned loudly in frustration.

"Ah ah, I'm going to make this last" he grinned playfully up at her from between her legs and she stuck her tongue out at him. "Youre so wet" he murmured, his middle finger gliding up and down through her soft folds but barely touching her throbbing little clit. Pushing himself back up the bed, he leaned over her. A smile on his lips as he nibbled up her neck and she giggled and groaned.

Capturing her lips passionately he gently slipped his middle finger inside her, teasing her slowly and Toni gasped against his mouth. "Are you alright? Is this alright?" he asked, half afraid he'd hurt her and half afraid he wouldn't be able to please her as badly as he wanted too.

"I'm wonderful, it's good. Don't be worried, I won't break." She cupped his cheek and kissed his lips, her arm draping around his shoulders. Slowly he began moving his hand, his finger moving in and out of her tight, wet core as he thumbed her clit before he began moving a little faster, a little harder.

"Oh god, Buck..." Toni bit her lip hard and ran her fingers through his hair, he'd moved down to tease and lick her perky nipples as he fingered her. She'd never felt so...possessed, so...treasured. The way he touched her, tasted and kissed her, it was as if she was everything to him and it touched parts of her that she was afraid to look too closely too.

When he felt she was ready he gently slipped another finger in her hot eager core and kneeled up. His eyes on her as she lay spread out on the bed, his fingers between her legs, her hair spread across the pillows, moaning rather loudly now and she looked stunning. He wanted to see her like this all the time. Wanted to be the one making her look like that. The one giving her that pleasure.

Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her up off the bed and against him, his arm tight around her as he helped her keep her balance as she bounced on his fingers. Her arms around his neck, hands in his hair. His mouth claimed hers roughly and she loved it. His fingers hit her G-Spot and rubbed the sensitive little spot until she began tensing.

"I'm so close...it feels so good, don't stop...please don't..." She whispered, pleaded desperately against his lips, her eyes locked with his and he smirked before kissing her.

"Come for me Antonia" he practically purred and his thumb moved faster, rubbing her clit so hard.

"Uh huh...yeah...Mmm Mmm..." she clung to him as her body began being rocked by pleasure radiating from her core. She wasn't prepared for the orgasm she had. It took everything from her. A complete burst of pleasure hitting her, sending waves through her body and down to her toes, her hips grinding to a hault but she desperatly wanted to move them, to ride out the rest of her orgasm and as if he read her mind Bucky began thrusting his fingers into her, bringing on a second and third wave of bliss and she cried out incoherently, her body shaking as she fell backwards onto the bed and he came with her.

Bucky smiled and kissed her softly as she breathed hard, he was rather pleased with himself, glad he'd been able to give her that. "Your beautiful" he whispered against her ear. Blinking her eyes open Toni couldn't barely register anything but him in her euphoric state.

"You are amazing James Barnes" she cupped his cheek and leaned up, kissing him deeply. "How about a shower now hmm? We can try a little you time if you want?" She smiled and looked down between them where he was as hard as a rock and throbbing.

"Well I'd love to try" he grinned and slowly raised his fingers to his lips and sucked her sweetness clean off them.

* * *

**Well hope you're enjoying it so far. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think. Good or bad I don't mind either really. {Winks} Catch you on the next chapter. **


End file.
